Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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