She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
