I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
