I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You are a genius and a whore.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
