id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
