The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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