Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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