The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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