is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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