He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
