Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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