I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
