We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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