$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
