you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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