It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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