i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize