In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
