I want to stick my p in your. b.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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