Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
