Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
