Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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