hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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