Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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