I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
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Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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