I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Never underestimate the power of titties
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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