6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Dick very happy bro
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
