"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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