I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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