Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just threw up on my dentist
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
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