i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
