He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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