Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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