i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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