Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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