somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
