Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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