Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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