about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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