My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I cockslap morals
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
