ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
