dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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