I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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