I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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