just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
