Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
