After last night, I could never be a politician.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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