the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
