White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
