Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
