can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
