It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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