remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Randomize