Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
