when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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