It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize