Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
