A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
