You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
