U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Randomize
