just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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