You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
