Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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