he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
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I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
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I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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