I'm laying in your front yard are you home
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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