No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
