You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
