we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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