It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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