new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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