Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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