Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
