I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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