As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
