we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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