you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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